I met a crazy psychotic man yesterday who lived in a cave disguised as an apartment. Tax dollars pay for some psychotic people to live independently in apartments that can be altered to resemble dungeons, depending on the tenant's preference. This man said he wakes up every afternoon and jolts to life as if a freight train hit him out of bed. He opened his eyes wide and shook a little frenzied shake as he reenacted this waking process to me. From the moment he wakes up he hears a buzz of noise surging through his head, racing thoughts bouncing wildly, wickedly, every which way, as his pet pug begs for breakfast. He survives on cigarettes and Pepsi until the late afternoon when his burning belly screams for something more substantial. He doesn't take his medications regularly because when he feels good he doesn't feel he needs them. When he doesn't take them he starts to feel himself come alive again. When the meds wear off his brain sparks into flame and he is a force of furious mental energy ready to run around the block a few times. He walks to the corner store to buy a bag of chips. He moves slowly and starts to sweat when he has to cross the street. He doesn't fear getting hit by a car. He fears being watched, looked at, noticed. He longs for his dark cave. This man believes that his Dr. wants to kill him. He is not a conspiracy theorist in the least, but he simply believes that he is being messed with by having to take so many different prescription drugs. He gave his medicine to his neighbor friends so that they could report back to him how horrible it made them feel. They confirmed to him that it was terrible and he told them that he knew, but that it was nice that someone else knew now too. He might kill himself. He has tried before, but without success. He gets really angry sometimes and might harm someone else, but he'll most likely just stay in his apartment cave and smoke cigarettes while he watches TV with his pug. He is crazy, but you won't ever notice him because he'd prefer it that way. He appears normal enough, but he is psychotic and his cave is full of darkness.
...ramble on...
wow
ReplyDeletewow
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. This reminds me of some people I have encountered and personally worked with. The "cave" is a place that could be said to be the mans refuge, but also his only ticket for society to allow him to live outside of a psych ward. Anyway, I'm gonna read this again a couple times. Then we can talk about it.
ReplyDeleteI meet a lot of these folks working in the hospital. The meds seem like a lose-lose situation.
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